Top Ten Reasons To Vote Republican This Year

10. This isn't Russia, is this Russia, Danny?
9. It would really piss off the Dixie Chicks, Babs Streisand, Geroge Clooney, et al.
8. It helps to have a President who can walk and chew gum without a teleprompter.
7. Sarah looks a helluva lot better in a bikini than Joe Biden (or Barney Frank for that matter).
6. Everywhere socialism has been tried, it has been an abject failure (see Soviet Russia and Nazi Germany).
5. It's much better to have a President who did time in the Hanoi Hilton, rather than one who hangs with the likes of Paris Hilton.
4. Socialized medicine will kill more people than Stalin's five year plans.
3. Putin is licking his chops at the thought of a tasty morsel like Obama.
2. We absolutely need energy independence.
1. Civilization itself is at stake in the global war on terror (WW IV) and we absolutely cannot afford to lose.